Bayou Bucks Magazine March 2012 : Page 30
the Stank Bank IDIOTS OUTDOORS OF THE Don’t worry. No one saw that. No one but me. And my camera phone. And Facebook. Who doesn’t love a glad-it-wasn’t-me story? These are some of the most insanely idiotic hunting violations in Louisiana’s hunting history. N ames have been changed to protect the identity of the dumb . L ouisiana Department of Wildlife & Fisheries Agents Howard Sullivan and Jessie Travis were looking forward to the upcoming 1997 turkey season. Th e two agents had been assigned to patrol Livingston Parish—famous for its healthy population of turkeys and infamous for the numerous outlaws that chase them. Reconnaissance eﬀ orts revealed that Joel Williams had baited the woods behind his Holden, Louisiana home with corn. Sullivan and Travis then hatched a plan to catch the lawbreaker by paying him a surprise visit on opening morning. Little did they know, but they were in for a surprise of their own. e two agents arrived in the foggy predawn darkness and positioned themselves behind a large pin oak tree. e tree was in the woods but within sight of the food plot, allowing the agents to move in for the arrest when the time was right. Jittery with anticipation, they waited until a faint light could be seen approaching through the dense fog. It looked like their hunch was paying oﬀ ; Williams had an urge that he just couldn’t resist. As the light drew nearer, the agents slowly circled to keep the tree they were hiding behind between themselves and the outlaw. Once Williams’ light got within 40 yards from the plot, it paused, then immediately changed course and began heading straight for them. As the suspect’s ﬂ ashlight beams ﬂ ickered across both sides of the pin oak that the agents were hiding behind, the two LDWF oﬃ cers’ hearts began pounding with adrenaline. “He’s coming right for us!” Agent Sullivan whispered to his partner, “ ere’s no way he saw us.” Agent Travis quipped. e outlaw was approaching fast, and as the footsteps pounded closer, the agents drew their weapons, for all that lay between them and potential harm was a single tree. Suddenly, the outlaw’s rapid advancement stopped, and the agents listened to the heavy breathing coming directly from the other side of the tree trunk. e sound of Williams quickly oﬄ oading his gear could be heard, and Agents Sullivan and Travis breathed a collective sigh of relief when they realized they hadn’t been busted. Seconds later, sounds of baggage rustling and zippers zipping conﬁ rmed that this was where the outlaw would initiate his ﬁ rst calling sequence. However, the sounds that soon followed weren’t that of an owl, woodpecker, or crow call. Instead, the outlaw used a primitive call as old as the woods themselves. e grumbling bellows coming from deep inside the bowels of Williams gave the agents a suspicion of what was about to transpire. It wasn’t long before they were greeted by such a foul-smelling gastrointestinal explosion that it sent both agents into a dry heave. eir poopetrator had “gone brown” on their hiding spot. e ﬁ asco went on for several agonizing minutes, and Agents Sullivan and Travis could hardly contain their laughter...or disgust. Still, they had a job to do, and a few groans and grunts later, Williams ﬁ nished his business and made his way over to the food plot. As dawn broke, the agents announced their presence, citing Williams for hunting turkeys over bait, but letting him “slide” on unsanitary waste disposal charges. e outlaw had done what every outlaw wishes he could do: dump on the LDWF. Story based on accounts from Capt. Len Yokum, LDWF. BUGGIN’ THE BEST: Asking the silly questions. And some smart ones, too. Want an expert’s opinion? We submit your question to this month’s Alpha Male, Warren Womack , Bayou Bucks’ bowhunting expert from Clinton, Louisiana . Just do what we do: pass on the information like you knew it all along. Duh. Q: A: How should I use post-season scouting to my advantage for next bow season? —Casey Francois Avoyelles Parish 30 | Bayou Bucks Magazine March 2012 Most of my post-season scouting is done during the spring turkey season. Hunting huge tracts of public land, I have the opportunity to check out new areas for potential setups for the upcoming deer season. Of course, I have preferred areas from past turkey hunting experiences, but I also spend a lot of midday time scouting new areas—for deer—while calling birds from random locations. In reference to deer sign, I’m searching for what each particular area has the potential to oﬀ er, may it be a travel area, food source, or security area. e apparent sign would be in form of feed trees, agriculture crops, food plots, trails, funnels, old scrapes, creek crossings, transition lines, and bedding areas. I’ll also be looking for mature oak trees in “special” locations that show potential. Using my GPS, I’ll mark a waypoint for areas of interest. In a pocket notebook, I’ll record details about the location that will be a guide for what the setup is for, what wind direction is needed, the best way to approach the stand site, and any other useful information. Remember: post-season scouting is just a guide for things to consider next season. We still owe it to ourselves to hunt the very best sign that we can ﬁ nd for each hunt; it takes daily scouting to accomplish this. e most consistent trait of deer is inconsistency. eir food sources vary and change as the season progresses —Warren Womack Clinton, Louisiana Send us your questions and we’ll put them in the right hands: firstname.lastname@example.org.
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